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Wake up and Hostel


If there is one thing I have made clear throughout all of my writing, it is that I am probably a sex addict, but if one reads a little bit deeper into my prose, it would also be revealed that I am a cheap SOB. I am always on the lookout for a bargain and I don’t mind combing for gems through a pile of bulky items left out for the city to collect and dispose of. Long ago I realized that saving money is the same as making money. Well, not exactly, but at least that sounds nice and proverbial.

As a proud cheapskate headed to Austin for a comedy festival, I was on the lookout for a place to crash for a couple of nights. Since I don’t keep up with any of my quasi- friends in Austin I couldn’t very well ask to crash with them. Like any good Shatner fan, I took to all those hotel apps he owns, to look for a moderately priced future crime scene. Lo and behold, (I’ve been practicing my Middle English) I found a place for $34 a night.

I thought to myself, ‘No way could I get a room and shower and safety for such a great price’. I was right. This was the rate for HI (Hostelling International) Austin. I scrolled down the list… $85, $79, $85 again. This was not looking good. Okay HI Austin, I’m just thrifty enough to give this a try, but if someone ends up taking a power drill to my eye socket I will be leaving a very stern comment card.

I called to make the reservation because nobody really uses the app to do that, right? The voice was friendly and helpful and explained away any B-Horror Film worries was holding to. My pervy side was disappointed to hear about separate male and female dorms. Really Austin? I was hoping for a giant genderless multiracial foam pit in which all guests slept in the nude. Still, at $34, I was happy enough with my bottom bunk in a 12-man room.
In all honesty, HI Austin was great. The staff was friendly, the atmosphere was inviting and the Wi-Fi worked swell. There was a community kitchen available and breakfast every morning. Not to mention it was only a $5 Uber from downtown. I highly recommend it for the solo traveler on a budget.

Sure at one point I had to ask myself if the front desk clerk was a lady with a beard or a man with a dress? It didn’t take me long though, to realize that the answer was… it doesn’t matter, cause I saved a few bucks.

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