CORPUS CHRISTI, TX – White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer told the press Friday, that the President has decided to make a change from the gorgeous surroundings, first-class amenities, and 126 rooms of Mar-a-Lago, and has decided to spend his spring break at the Omni Hotel near the chocolate-milky waters of South Texas. The president will be in town for an entire workweek in March.
Some Washington politicians have rumored that the reason for this visit is because the dopey Corpus Christi House Representative Blake Farenthold was playing hide-and-seek by himself in the White House when he happened upon President Trump and Steve Bannon in a compromising situation involving a goat head, a young child, and ceremonial dagger. This seems a likely possibility considering that President Trump would typically avoid such a Hispanic saturated district and since Farenthold is widely known for playing with himself.
Farenthold has told local reporters that he plans on becoming best friends with Trump over this visit and will be taking him to all the hot spots his city has to offer.
“We are gonna have so much fun,” Farenthold exclaimed, “We will probably start off slow with some mini-golf and go-carts, then maybe hit the beach. If everything goes well the night will find us at Bottom’s Up for some adult entertainment. Now that we finally have an Alamo Draft House, maybe we can even go and watch Get Out.”
Locals had much to say on Trump’s play-date with Blake Farenthold. Maria
“I kinda of hope this goes well for old Blakey,” said a supportive constituent, “we just want to see him make a friend.”
One nice, little, old, lady said, “I think it is sweet of the President to spend a little time with Blake. It sets a good example that sometimes you have to hang out with the guy that nobody else wants to be around. I think it finally shows some class. Who cares if it is going to cost taxpayers $13-million.”
Speaker of The House Paul Ryan recently visited Corpus Christi for a GOP fundraiser hosted by the Sussers at which there was an altercation between Blake and Ryan. According to witnesses, Blake was following Ryan around the party trying to get him to “check out his collection of still-boxed Star Wars figures” when Ryan called Blake a “dweeb and a dopey f***”, and then proceeded to tell him that Star Trek TNG was easily superior and the only George worse than Soros, was Lucas.
Local Republican Sam Susser told reporters. “After the way Paul Ryan recently treated Blake, he really needs a win.”