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Texas House Passes Campus Carry Jr. Law


Off to a productive start, the Texas Legislature has already approved bills for Statewide Open Carry as well as Campus Carry for Texas colleges.
This week politicians hard at work in Austin passed the Campus Carry Jr. bill also known as HB 35745210, allowing open carrying of handguns by elementary school students. This bill essentially guarantees children the right to carry a .357 for 5 to 10-year-olds.
Another House Bill, 949, was shot down because its wording only allowed 9-year-olds to carry 9 millimeters and was considered not far-reaching enough.
“I’m all for 9’s for 9’s,” said Governor Greg Abbott, “but isn’t it so much cuter to see a 1st grader with a big ol’ .357? I tell you, that’s the most precious thing I’ve ever seen.
“If it makes it to my desk, I will sign that into law faster then an 8-year-old can accidentally kill his shooting instructor.”
The bill was authored by State Representative Donna Campbell (R)from New Braunfels who said she walked in on her 6-year-old playing with mommy’s guns and knew that her young daughters gun rights needed to be clarified and solidified by law.
Texans have been split on this matter since it was first proposed. 45% of the state voters believe this bill makes total sense and 45% think that a law allowing 5-year-olds to carry guns restricts the rights of the under 5-years-old gun enthusiasts. Last week at a rally outside the Capitol Building over 2,000 infants held a non-violent, non-verbal demonstration to assert their right to bear arms.
Much of the small number of Texans who believe this level of fanaticism is ludicrous have decided to just keep their mouths shut and in the future, avoid Open Carry Jr. areas.
One primary school teacher, and vocal opponent to the law, said “It’s getting to the point where I can’t tell the good 5-year-olds from the bad ones because now they all have guns. Before I knew which ones I had to give extra graham crackers to in order to keep the peace.
“Now I just let them all do whatever they want, so they’ll just let me live.”
In anticipation of the possible new law, gun industry manufacturers are already working on the release of a new line of products geared toward the youngest generation of gun owners to date. This line includes a miniature firearm called the Saturday Morning Special with ivory rattle grips and a pacifier hammer, along with a Kevlar Onesies in every color imaginable.
Brian Birdwell,the Republican State Representative for Granbury, Texas, voiced his approval of HB 35745210 saying, “It is every child’s God-given right to protect themselves with handguns, rifles or any other form of weapon they can handle. If only we could make a gun for the fetus population – you better believe nobody would try to abort them if they could defend themselves!”
While none of the groups in support of this Bill believe these new measures will lead to further gun deaths, there has already been one case where 2/3 of a set of 1-year-old triplets shot the other 1/3 point blank during a breastfeeding altercation.

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