It’s another sunny December in Corpus Christi, and the girls and I are out in full swing. It’s easy to take for granted the almost year-round prostitution weather we get here in South Texas. In some part of the country, we ladies of the night have to suffer through long freezing winters. Believe me, you do not want fellatio from a girl whose teeth are chattering from the cold.
Still, we do get the occasional drop in temperature, and it’s important to keep warm when you’re on the street between Johns.
Unfortunately in our profession we cant afford to cover up the merchandise simply to stay warm or alive, so any kind of coat or even sweater has to be off limits. If you are feeling chilly or dying, you can coat your body in KY Jelly. This can be costly, so feel free to use one of your normal lube substitutions like fresh blood or motor oil.
Here is a trick I picked up (not that kind of trick) a few years back. Keeping blood flowing is essential so you have to keep moving. A 9-volt battery in your cooter will keep you going like the energizer bunny. Just remember to remove it before sex or your client might not be too happy. Warning; if you do this too often, you will become immune to its effects. After a couple of decades you might require 8 D batteries like I do.
Lastly, some people will turn to alcohol or even drugs to give them that warm feeling, but remember girls, you’re on duty and you’ve got to stay sharp or you might end up giving back the wrong change or swallowing something you weren’t paid to swallow. Stick to coffee, when injected directly into the blood stream its all you need to keep your temperature above corpse level.