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Food Stamp Cards Hacked for Millions of Wal-Mart Shoppers


In a crushing post-holiday blow, a consumer report, released on Tuesday, has alerted millions of Wal-Mart shoppers to a, now confirmed, hacking incident.

Information has been illegally obtained from nearly 50 million debit cards for the SNAP program (Formerly called ‘Food Stamps’). This comes on the heels of a similar 4th quarter catastrophe involving Target patrons. In this case however, those affected wont just go without Christmas gifts, they could end up with no food on the table.

In a brief statement, the megastore’s president and CEO, Mike Duke told the Wal-Mart press corps that, “Unfortunately, our point-of-entitlement data was compromised and millions of people might actually have to go out and generate real income in order to properly purchase goods, like the rest of us.” He then welcomed those affected by the hack to ‘the real world’, and turned the floor over to the companies IT specialist.

Joel Anderson then explained how the hackers could have possibly attained the valuable information. “I think that we can all agree that there is nothing like a great bargain… Well, at Wal-Mart we also appreciate the opportunity to save a billion here or a million there. So, when we find out that for a fraction of the price of a Network Firewall, we could get a Firewindow… how could we pass that up.”

Financial analysts report that while this move saved the retail giant billions, it will ultimately result in the starvation deaths of countless low-income seniors and children. This is a fact that Wal-Mart has seemed to accept as par for the capitalism course.

Audrey Rowe, an administrator at the Food and Nutrition Service, which oversees the SNAP program, has advised those who receive benefits to monitor their card balance online or call the USDA toll-free number for more information.
When interviewed, Jamie Laurna, one individual who typically receives $340 in benefits each month, exclaimed, “I tried to call the number but I was on hold and it used up all my minutes man. They said to check online, but they didn’t even say where is the line. Either way I bet that line is long, you know.”

On top of what is already a very costly crime, it has been determined that the PIN information for all 47 million cards was also obtained by cyber criminals, however oddly enough the PIN on every card was the same, 1234.

So far criminals have used the card information to access $800,000 in SNAP funds, which they then traded for $400,000 in cash. Experts say that nearly all the cash will most likely be used to purchase cigarettes and alcohol, which of course cannot be bought with food stamps. They also estimate that a small portion of the money will be used for dog food.

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