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Dear Wil Vent,

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For decades now I have always wondered why nothing ever happened between us. In 1993 we were at the same junior high school, sure I was your Biology teacher, but we shared that special moment. We walked in the schoolyard and talked about why you weren’t doing your work, I told you that I knew how smart you were, and I told you I was going through a divorce. We both cried a little and then shared that long hug. Didn’t you realize that was when you were supposed to kiss me? In hindsight, maybe I should have made the first move, seeing as I was 20 years your senior. Well, I’m in my 50’s now… wanna bang?

Sincerely Mrs. Robinson

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