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Dear Scabby,


Dear Scabby,
Will you be attending the Pride Parade?

Hey Kaboom,
First, let me say that I love all parades for several reasons. Mainly because, as a streetwalker, I appreciate anytime that vehicles are moving at nonlethal speeds. They also bring lots of people out, usually to the parts of town that are normally empty, for good reason. Half of those people have penises, and even if .01% of them are sex addicts carrying cash then I’ll be as happy as an Elks Lodgemen lodged into my pink mini go-cart.

Sure the Pride Parade isn’t as long as the Buc Days Parade, but trust me when I say, sometimes long is overrated. Personally, I like a nice thick parade, with a little bit of upward curve to it. That really hits my parade route just right.
Another great thing about this Pride celebration is that it’s the only time people aren’t completely disgusted by my bruised and tarnished body which year-round presents in all the colors of the rainbow flag. From the ROY-colored open sore on my abdomen where my liver liquefied and leaked out, to the Gangrene tones of my feet that give the appearance that I am wearing shoes even though I do not own any, and back up to my BIV-tinted lady bits that are a result of too much dirty PIV action.

And remember boys, girls, and everything in between, when you are watching that Pride Parade, or any parade for that matter, don’t forget to give some attention to the little man in the float, that’s the most important part.

One last thing… We all need to do our part to support the LGBT+ community. I do my part by sending countless men running from the last vagina they will ever want to see. I’m not sure what exactly scares them more; its teeth or the infected cavities on the teeth.

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