Dear Santa Impersonator,
I don’t even know why I am writing you this letter seeing as I am Santa. That’s right boys and girls, I am Santa, but at the same time I wanna also denounce Santa and everything he represents and stands for. It’s not a contradiction if I am operating on such a high level that even scientologists think I’m crazy. By the way I am also L. Ron Hubbard, in case you were wondering.
Yesterday I was a God today I’m a fat bearded muthaf***a and tomorrow I might even be an artist, but I doubt it.
Fake a$$ Santas ain’t got nothing on me. Why do you think my picture is the biggest one on this page? You think its cause the editor came up with this last minute idea just to try and fill up some empty space… That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.