Former child actor, and adult comedian Dustin Diamond is dead at age 44.
Diamond lived what could only be described as a cubic zirconian life.
He succumbed to a rare form of Mark Paul Cancerlaar
The disease finally did what Saved by the Bell writers could never accomplish.
He died surrounded by loved ones, including none of his Saved by the Bell castmates and will be buried in his best trapper keeper designed button-up shirt.
When asked about his death, the man Dustin Diamond stabbed in 2014 was quoted as saying, “Who?”
Diamond is survived by thousands of bad stand-up comedians wondering if they can still list him as a credit as well as disappointed gamblers who had their money on Elizabeth Berkeley dead in 2022.
In lieu of flowers, send crushed Adderall and vouchers for Backpage hookers to UNICEF.
Ashes to ashes Dustin to dust. Screech you are now dead to us.