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Wake Up & Get Published (Locally)

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by William Henneberger

The Corpus Christi Writers Anthology 2019 has been officially released and – cue music… It looks like we made it.

Yes, along with about 50 other local poems and short stories, a piece by yours truly was chosen to appear in this second volume brought to you by Mays Publishing. It’s true I’ve never been much for group activities and in fact I only submitted to prove to a friend who bragged about being included in the 2018 volume, that even someone as ridiculous as myself could achieve the status of locally published author.

Sadly, in the book, the author’s bio I worked so hard on (ha, I said hard on) was severely cut down. So, I have included the unabridged bio along with a sample of the book in this issue, if you like what you read then you can visit amazon.com and order the book in physical or digital form for about $10.

I have also included below, the remarks I prepared for the book release party where many of the authors read their contributions to this work. My short speech was written in good fun but when I got to the party and read the room, I decided against verbally assaulting this gathering of lovely people. Well, that and the fact that nobody could really be heard over all the chatter filling the pizza joint/bar. I hate to waste a good bit so instead I have used it to fill a few column inches right here. Enjoy.

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I know I’m not a great writer. I’m no Hunter S. Thompson or David Foster Wallace or Virginia Woolf or Thomas Wolfe or Jack London (who wrote about wolves). I could never be like any of these great writers because I’m just not that suicidal.

I know a few great writers and I have already prepared to someday get a call informing me that they finally drank or drugged themselves to death. Or more likely, I’ll just send my quarterly hello via Facebook messenger and I’ll get no reply and just assume they finally went to that great writer’s workshop in the dirt.

Also, I don’t like writing that much. I hate writing… And typing… and reading what I wrote and proofreading what I wrote, I hate the whole lot of it.

I do like the attention it garners or the praise from sub-mason-dixon line pseudo intellectuals. Who doesn’t like being called brilliant? (which I have been – twice in four decades – by people not related to me)

I like to be funny and I like to try hard to be original, impossible as that might be. Which reminds me, has anyone coined the word “Spectrumy”, as in: William Henneberger isn’t full blown autistic but he is spectrumy AF.

I’m a good enough writer. Maybe even in Corpus Christi’s top 1%, but if you don’t already know it, that means little to nothing, especially at my ripe old age of late 30’s.

Even though I believe that our desire as humans should be to shed our egos – the recognition is nice and being a quote – unquote “published author” is a cute concept… even if it’s in a book that is primarily marketed to the authors within it.   

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