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Site Supremacists Fight for Better Elementary School Location


Amidst much controversy, the Corpus Cristi Independent School District Board finally found a suitable site for the Windsor Park Elementary students.
After the first spot was suggested, parents of the W.P. kids expressed concern that their children would not be safe in one of Corpus Christi’s many lower-class neighborhoods. When surveyed, 42% of the parents protesting against the new site for the school said they would not send their kids to the new campus if it was built in the area near McArdle and Kostoryz.
It was due to this dramatic uprising of parents that CCISD superintendent Scott Elliff has decided to move all teachers and students in the Gifted and Talented program aboard the USS Lexington.
“We understand that the parents of these remarkable youths just want them to have the safest possible learning environment,” Eliff said.
“We had that in mind when we chose for those kids, the safest place we could find in the area and that was obviously on a military aircraft-carrier.”
Confused parents didn’t know what to make of the absurd announcement. On one hand they could no longer argue that their children would not be safe aboard such a vessel. On the other hand it seems like the superintendent is being a sarcastic jerk.
Windsor park has a long tradition of preparing the a-hole kids of Corpus Christi to be just like their a-hole parents, who feel that they have every right to dictate whether a public school should or shouldn’t be located in proximity to a district comprised of 90% Obama voters.
The group W.P. Parents (which most believe stands for ‘Windsor Park Parents’, but actually stands for ‘White Power Parents’) has been the most organized in the debate so far. Their knack for instigating rallies and intimidating administrators in the main force behind the punch to keep the school in its original “pure” location.
“CCISD is supposed to be focusing on going green, not brown,” added one member of White Power Parents. “I’m not a racist, it’s simply about which site is superior.
“That’s the point me and all the other site supremacists are trying to make”
Representatives who oversee operation of the USS Lexington say they would be proud to have the children attend school on the ship and touted accommodations already in place like a gym, classrooms, mess hall and eight active anti-aircraft cannons for maximum protection of our city’s master race of students.

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