Onomatopoeia my pants: An interview with Comedian Pablo Francisco

I have to start by saying what I knew would be true of this interview before I even made the phone call to Pablo Francisco – It does not do him justice. At first, I thought it would be funny for me to have to spell out and you to have to read all the booshes, woomps, re-roalps, and blehghs, but soon I realized that I suck at onomatopoeia.

Pablo is a master of sound effects and impersonation as you can see by all the characters that pop into our conversation which, I should note, took place around 7am. Of course, the best way to enjoy the many sides of this internationally known comedian is to see him on stage for yourself. All voices are done by Pablo since I also suck at impressions.

Pablo: Hello, this is Pablo Francisco.

Vent: Hey Pablo, this is Wil with the Vent in Corpus Christi. How’re you doing?

P: I’m doing good man. I’m just chilling here on the Internet waiting for your call. And thanks for calling, what’s up man?

V: Yeah, hey. I’m doing pretty good. We just wanted to do a quick little interview to promote the show coming up. I jotted down just some basic stuff and then maybe a little bit of weird stuff too we can get into.

P: Absolutely man, I’m down, man.

V: First off, some basic stuff like can you tell us about your comedy inspirations.

P: Alright, well, it started out with my neighbor, Mike… Miguel. He was my neighbor, and he would make fun of my parents. So I would make fun of his parents, but he started getting a little bit more technical and started getting – you know – my dad yelling at him – those kinds of impersonations. So I had to figure out how to – I couldn’t really talk about his mom cause his mom was always on the couch, that he stole. He was always stealing couches for his parents. So his brother started living with him. So now I got to make fun of his brother. Then I went on to just goofing off watching television. Getting Kermit the Frog’s down. And that’s where it basically started. And then it was Steve Martin. I began watching him on television. And then it went to Benny Hill, right, that guy’s a goofball. And then it went from Paul Rodriguez. And then from Paul Rodriguez, it went to – it blew up when I went to Los Angeles, that’s when I started to see all the guys my age and a little bit younger. Like Carlos Mencia blew me away. Still does. Still does. You know, he’s a great comedian, insanely fantastic on stage. And I’d learn to segue from topic to topic from him. And then, I like – who is it like right now – and you know, keeping it in the zone here so, I would say the comic that’s making me laugh right now would be… oh god I just forgot his name. He’s a hairy guy on, he’s on TV, oh Chris D’Elia is one of ’em I’m watching, man. He’s hilarious. And Chris D’Elia’s funny… and then – who else am I watching live? Oh, Joe Rogan’s making me laugh a lot man, like crazy. And I’m gonna say Steve Harvey for being honest and genuine. And those are my stars right now, my big boys, I’m liking.

V: Right on, in particular, you’ve got a really high-energy show. Do you have any favorite low-energy comedians?

P: Yeah, a lot of lower energy comedians I get. Jim Jeffries from Austrailia, he’s low key, Stephen Wright, he’s a legend on that one. I got a second album that’s called “Ouch!”. You know and it’s Comedy Central, you can go on YouTube and check it out. Some people can if they wanna see my mellowest bit. That was mellow there, I was a mellow cat because I was running around all day. But you know what? It came out just perfect. It’s a little different, I sweat my balls off, but you know, I had to wear a separate shirt. Yeah, it was good, Gabriel Iglesias was in the front row, he was around so he came to visit the whole show. It’s about 5-7 years old, but it’s a goodie. That’s more mellow. More mellowed out.

V: Cool, one thing I like to ask comedians is – you know a while back we lost George Carlin but, is there somebody you see out there who might take the place of somebody like Carlin?

P: Well, you know.
Carlin: This is George Carlin… [Pablo jumps into a spot on random Carlin bit]
P: I’m gonna write that down, that’s pretty good. Okay. Who’s gonna get in with George on that one? You know what, there’s so many that would fill that George Carlin thing. He got to it first. But you know, like Star Wars, how can you replace Star Wars. It would take 3 movies to replace that. So, I would say, to replace Carlin, would have to be… oh man Carlos Mencia would always have to be there, you know that element, I would say, okay, Carlos Mencia, plus Tommy Davidson, divided by the square root of Louis C. K.

V: What kind of topics are you gonna be talking about on the upcoming show. And I guess you’re working on a new special too on this tour?

P: Yes, we’re working on a new hour special, now I’ve done 3 organically without electronics and crazy stuff so I figured, why not give everybody something a little different? So it’s gonna be, this one we’re working on comedies in cartoons. Basically, I talk about something and you see it on the cartoon. I’m gonna do some old hits that people have probably seen but like with the guitar solos, the vibes different. We’re gonna talk about Dog the Bounty Hunter, okay? We’re gonna talk about these pharmaceutical commercials where you need Busta Rhymes at the end to tell you how bad it is. [Mimic the voice at the end of a commercial] “Clavics… may cause you to kill yourself…urinary… We’re gonna talk about those, you know those need to be spoken and talked about.
We’re gonna talk about psycho girlfriends. You know, these women need to be told, “Hey man, you gotta stop getting psycho after age 30, 40.” There are some psycho guys in there a little bit, okay, so we’re talking about psycho guys. We’re gonna talk about transsexuals. We’re gonna talk about trannies and when they get old they turn into grannies. We’re gonna have to talk about you know, the bathrooms at Target. I mean, I don’t get it, you know, but then again, we have to try to understand. So yeah, we’re gonna make fun of Kim Kardashian a little bit. And then we’re gonna make fun of all of the Myspaces and cougars, and farmers.com and all this crap like cheatonyourwife.com. You know, what would you say to your parents? Hey Mom, Dad, we met on cheatingcougars.com. It’s weird. We’re gonna make fun of weenies, big weenies, I don’t know, something like that, beans and weenies. It’s fun. Start the party at a comedy show. Go there with your date, you don’t have to talk to her, the lights go down, you know, save the conversation for later.
Pablo2 web
V: Sounds like a great show, man. Alright, I’ve got some weird stuff here so let me know if you feel it or not. But, what would a conversation between yourself and Michael Winslow (the sound effect guy from the Police Academy movies) sound like?

[There is no way for me to type the hilarious answer to this question without my keyboard exploding.]

V: Nice. Well, everybody loves the classic movie trailer voice that you do. Can you give use a line or two for The President Donald Trump Movie?

P: Okay, okay. *epic voice* Get ready… This summer… It’s a porno movie like you’ve never seen before… He’s in every gym shower.
Trump: Listen, yours is small, mine is yuuuuge.
P: *epic voice* This summer… Mark Wahlberg….
Mark: Hey dudeeee, is it trueee? Huh? Is it true? Do you got a big weenieee? [explosion sound]
P: *epic voice* Coming to a theatre near you… and its coming.

V:[cracking up] That’s great, man. Alright I’ve got more weird stuff here like, what does it sound like when a fat guy has a bad dream?

P: mumbling… Jenny Craig… mumbling… *panting*

V: One last one is – I wrote down this, I don’t know what I was thinking but, “a preying mantis, praying”.

[At this point things get so hilariously out of hand that I simply cannot spell how funny it was, just get your tickets for this incredible show]

V: That’s all I’ve got for you, sounds pretty good. I appreciate all the energy.

P: Come on out to the show. You got my number. Hit me up. Get buzzed, get drunk a little get an Uber.

Catch Pablo Francisco June 23rd and 24th at Mesquite Street Comedy Club, and get all the info you need for tickets at http://www.laughdowntown.com

UPDATE: This show has been postponed due to possible bad weather. Stay tuned for details.

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