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Nike Introduces the Kaepernick Shoe Option

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In what some have called a controversial marketing decision by one of the world’s leaders in athletic wear, Nike recently named former NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick as the face of the 30th-anniversary campaign of the ‘Just Do It’ slogan.

In the latest push to further promote their spokesperson this week, Nike instituted a new shoe option. With every pair of Nike shoes, customers will now have the opportunity to Kaepernick their purchase.

“For a long time,” said Nike CEO Mark Parker, “we have been looking for a new way to increase revenue.” Until now the shoe industry has failed to find our own version of the ‘Super Size’. The problem was that there are only two feet per person, sometimes less, on which shoes can be placed. It took an innovator like Colin to show us the way. And that is why we chose him or this movement.”
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Kaepernick reportedly mentioned to Parker that his knees were getting filthy with all this kneeling and asked if there was some kind of athletic wear that could be placed on his knee to provide some sort of padding and protection from the elements encountered on the ground. That’s when they realized the need for the ‘knee-shoe’ or the ‘Kaepernick’.

Parker continued, “I don’t get into all those political arguments. What’s the point? I mean aren’t we all in the Party of making money? Isn’t taking hold of everyday American’s hard earned cash via 80% markup the American Dream we are all trying to achieve? And now we can increase that cash grab by 50%, all because of one great man who felt some kind of feeling that someone with my brain’s chemical pathology is literally not capable of understanding.”

Marketing experts have called the idea, “Just stupid enough that every 13-year-old will believe they have to have it.” One, in particular, pointed out that this is what the Just Do It campaign is reminding us to do, saying, “Nike is just following their own mantra of not asking if their dream is crazy, but asking if it is crazy enough. And yes, it is, but it’s also just in time for back to school season, and that’s what really matters.”

San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick (7) is photographed during warmups before the Houston Texans NFL preseason game at Levi's Stadium in Santa Clara, Calif., on Sunday, August 14, 2016. (Josie Lepe/Bay Area News Group)
San Francisco 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick (7) is photographed during warmups before the Houston Texans NFL preseason game at Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, Calif., on Sunday, August 14, 2016. (Josie Lepe/Bay Area News Group)

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