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LOW CLASSIFIEDS

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Contact Wil 361-549-6213
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Looking for a Reggae band to play at my… never mind, I just found three in my driveway.
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In search of woman with low self-esteem, for romantic encounter leading to possible abusive relationship and future miserable marriage ending in murder/suicide. Contact Wil Vent 361-549-6213
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In search of tennis partner. Must be as fat as me. Contact Will 361-549-6213

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Thy chrg by th lttr fr ths. Cld nt ffrd vwls. Lkng fr sxy ldy t smsh bgs whl wrng hgh hls. Contact Wil Vent 361-549-6213
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For Sale: Waterpark tickets that I traded an ad for in my magazine when I really needed cash. Contact Bill 361-549-6213
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Linkin Park tribute band needs vocalist. Must own PA, be willing to travel and kill self for ultimate tribute. Contact William 361-549-6213
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Found: Full-grown Alaskan Husky, very obedient, loves peanut butter. Contact Will 361-549-6213
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Job opportunity for the right fast-paced, go-getter, agoraphobic albino with three toes on left foot, six on right foot. Contact Willis 361-549-6213
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Writers wanted to write for free. Contact Wil Vent 361-549-6213
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Text your Low Classified ads to #361-549-6213, we will print your phone number.

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