By Will Vent
V: I’d like to stick with a Josh/Blue theme for this interview, so with that, would you please put these Joshs in the correct order that my ex-wife slept with them? Josh Brolin , Josh Hartnett, Josh Groban, and Josh Gad.
J: That’s easy, she had a threesome with all of them, man.
V: How did you know? Have you met her?
J: Well, I was filming.
V: Can you give me a non-scientific reason to explain to my 9-year-old daughter, why the sky is Blue.
J: That’s easy man, so, you know when spill paint?
J: That has nothing to do with this. The sky is blue because crack-heads live in Detroit.
V: Seeing that your name is Josh Blue, have you ever thought about sticking to strictly blue comedy, like really raunchy stuff and if so can we get a sample of one of your most offensive lines?
J: I’ve definitely been blue in my career. I like saying dirty things. I’ve learned that pregnant ladies don’t like when you ask if you can feed their baby a french-fry.
V: You’re going to be performing with Ron White, who most people discovered through the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. In what order do you think that my ex-wife slept with all the Blue Collar Comedians; Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Ron White and Larry the Cable Guy?
J: I think that she started with Bill Engvall then she **** Larry, then she met old Foxworthy at the Golden Corral for some b*******ing, and she’s still with Ron.
V: That’s absolutely right!
J: She’s a filthy little thing.
V: Ok. F***, Marry, Kill? Smurfette, the blue chick from X-men, and the blue chick from Avatar.
J: I definitely want to f*** the blue chick from X-men. I’d probably marry the Avatar girl because I love being in the forest. I’d kill Smurfette because that seems like the easiest one to kill.
V: Lastly, in which order did my ex-wife sleep with Chris, Matt, and Phil from the Blue Man Group?
J: I didn’t even know they had real names. She likes it kinky, man. I don’t think she had sex with any of them, I think she just used their props and gave it to herself while the Blue Men J***** O** on her.
V: That sounds about right.
J: Man, your ex is a real go-getter isn’t she?
Tune in to Josh Blue’s new comedy special Delete, on Hulu. Or catch him on tour with Ron White at the Selena Auditorium on September 23rd, for more information visit americanbankcenter.com.