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Get High to Avoid Inland Flooding

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by Ryan Shoptaugh

How high you can get during a hurricane is definitely a factor in your safety. There are numerous examples of significant flooding for those who refused to get high. Storms with a slow forward motion are the most dangerous as heavy rains persist for a longer period of time. In these cases you must ration your supplies and stay high for as long as possible.

Five Ways to Protect Yourself and Others

1. Protect Your Papers and Special Items. 

*Store rolling papers and valuable glass in plastic tubs with locking tops.

*In case of evacuation, you should be able to secure and move all your items within 15 minutes, but if you are properly “elevated” then 15 minutes will feel like an hour.

2. Flood Insurance

* Rezone your house as part of your rich neighbors property so that you can cash in on their insurance claim. 

• Be aware that not all substances are covered by flood insurance.

3. Develop a Family Flood Plan

*Do not panic during an emergency and settle any family members who are panicking by getting them high and safe.  

*Have an evacuation route planned, remember, the roads inland will be packed. Get high to better think out of the box. Almost nobody will be fleeing into the water by boat. 

*Let a few trusted friends know your real plan, but create elaborate campaigns of disinformation amongst acquaintances and other possible enemies. 

4.Never Drive on Flooded Roads  

*You never know how deep the water is and/or what portals to other dimensions might be found underneath.

*If you encounter flood waters when driving, Turn Around, Don’t Drown!

*Unless told to evacuate, you are probably safest staying at your current location. “Stay High, Don’t Die!”

5. Flood Proof Your Home – Take Steps to Minimize Flood Damage

*Lock all important things like babies, animals and drugs in the highest cabinets. 

*Lastly, use your water hose to soak everything in your home in water – a flood can’t damage what is already wet.

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