Stan Lee 1922-2018
On November 12th at Cedars-Sinai Experimental Medical Radioactive Laboratory, comic book writer, editor, and publisher Stan “Stanley” Lee moved on to that great un-credited cameo in the sky.
He would have died sooner but Sony Studios held the rights to his death and were being real dicks about letting it happen, yet he still managed to die before any of his fans lost their virginity.
Dr. Strange determined that the cause of death was spider bite/radiation exposure/medical procedure mishap/military experiment gone wrong.
Against all odds, Stan Lee managed to turn his hobby of drawing big tits on scantily clad women into a career and he is the latest on a short list of great men to leave behind a legacy of things to which teenaged boys masturbate.
Some say in his later years he was losing his touch, inventing characters like…
The Delivery Guy
Male Nurse Man
Captain Pussy Grab
The Fantastic Four Fingered Homeless Lady
The Thing Obstructing My Urethra
The Invisible Girlfriend
Robot With Guns
Lee is survived by Larry King, who now holds the record for oldest Jew, and Kevin Smith, whom hasn’t been told the news for fear of another heart attack.
Upon death, he was rushed through the pearly gates of heaven by St. Peter who told Lee, “God’s been waiting for you. He needs to know what happens in the next Infinity War movie.”
A service will be held next blockbuster season at which Stan Lee will be brought back to life as a Hispanic teenage girl for the reboot.
She-Hulk will live forever in my spank bank, but as for you Stan Lee… you are dead to me.