Senator John McCain – Dead to Me

Senator John McCain

On Saturday, August 25th Senator John McCain did his part to make America great again by letting go and allowing the population to decrease by one politician.

He will be survived by at least 6 more years of Sarah Palin jokes.

McCain was most recently known for single-thumbedly stopping the Republicans repeal of Obamacare.

His last words were…”please tell Megan to shut the f*** up, I’m trying to be dead over here!”

For McCain honor came above all else. He once told Mitch McConnell “when you die it will be… without honor”. Or was that Splinter talking to Shredder… anyway he was all about honor.

When President Trump heard of Senator McCain’s passing he wrote on Twitter, “John McCain was a good Senator and pubic servant. Not as GREAT as me. Best President of the world. Plus, I never got captured in a war. What a loser.”

His dying wishes were that Donald Trump not attend his funeral and that there be no cutesy moments where which passing of hard candy would dominate the same news cycle as his death.

John McCain, thank you for your service, but you are now dead to us.