Aretha Franklin – D-E-A-D-T-O- ME

Aretha Franklin died on August 16th after a long battle with C-A-N-C-E-R!
She was known as the Queen of Soul as well as the Black Barbra Streisand or the sober Whitney Houston.

She grew up during a time in America when it was hard to have a name that rhymed with urethra.

Aretha was possibly the first female black singer to be female, black, and a singer.

Known for expecting her payment up-front, she could never have been hired by any members of the Trump family.

Her role in The Blues Brothers in 1980 still serves as a reminder to most of us that we still haven’t sat down and actually watched that movie. Like, I seriously didn’t even realize it was a musical.

She is survived by Patti LaBelle, who commented, saying, “for the last time, white people, it wasn’t me!”

She was buried next to Rodney Dangerfield, in the hope that he would finally get a little respect…just a little bit. Her hair was buried in Detroit in a separate bigger coffin.

She will now become a literal natural woman. Aretha Franklin you are dead to us.