Category Archives: Dear Scabby

Dear Scabby (Nov. 2018)

Dear Scabby,
How are you handling the Beto loss?
Danny the Democrat

Hmm… Danny the D, it is mighty presumptuous to assume that I was ever a Beto supporter in the first place. Do you know nothing about me, you darling little progressive cuck? Just who do you think the lizard people call when they need someone who can service a whole lounge. They need a girl who can keep her mouth closed during off hours and open every other time. They need someone like me who has seen and swallowed it all, someone in front of whom they can take off the flesh suits and just be their lizardly selves. Remember, I am in the service industry, honey, and that means I have to do my part to keep the sexually repressed hooker hiring party in office and in front of those cameras so they are forced to sneak around when they need those slimy little lizard logs worked on.

Dear Scabby

Dear Scabs,
I know that Blake Farenthold was one of your regulars, have you had any dealings with our new interim Congressman?
Bech Bruun

Aw Bech honey, jealous much?
There aren’t many local men with whom I haven’t had relations, and by local I mean the greater southwest United States plus some parts of Indonesia. Once upon a time, old Scabby walked the streets of a little sprout of a town called Victoria, Texas, named after Vicky Vajajay the town’s only working girl, until I came around.

Dear Scabby,

What’s your take on the election in Turkey and the obvious corruption by President Erdogan?
Thanks,
Yours Tuesday 3pm

Hey Tuesday 3,
Pass.

+++

Dear Scabby,

Dear Scabby,

Dear Scabby,
Will you be attending the Pride Parade?
KBM

Hey Kaboom,
First, let me say that I love all parades for several reasons. Mainly because, as a streetwalker, I appreciate anytime that vehicles are moving at nonlethal speeds. They also bring lots of people out, usually to the parts of town that are normally empty, for good reason. Half of those people have penises, and even if .01% of them are sex addicts carrying cash then I’ll be as happy as an Elks Lodgemen lodged into my pink mini go-cart.

Dear Scabby,

Dear Scabby,
The last time I picked you up, before your mouth was full, you tried to tell me some story about how you used to hang with Bill Cosby. Now that this isn’t costing me money, I was hoping you could finish off that story.
Sincerely, Dr. Fuxtable

Dearest Dr. Fuxy
Where do I begin… As most of you know numerous ungrateful b*tches have recently come forward to accuse Dr. Cosby of playing honorary doctor with them after implementing an unwanted general anesthetic. Well, I tried and tried to become one of Dr. Willies patients, but I guess I just wasn’t pretty enough or smart enough for him to look at me the way he looked all those other women with those hungry, dead, entitled eyes. Maybe I should have played harder to get, but young Scabby was just as eager to please as the Scabby you all know and love today.

Dear Scabby,

Dear Scabby,
Given the current scandal in Congressman Blake Farenthold’s office, I was wondering if you could tell us about your time working with him…
-Thanks, Political Perv

Dear PeePee,

Usually, I am as honest and open as a herpes sore when I writing, but I try to avoid the subject of politics. To be truthful, it’s kind of disgusting to me. However, in the interest of full-frontal disclosure, I will grace you with that brief chapter of my life.
Once upon a time, I was a dirty old crack whore walking aimlessly along Leopard, when one early morning a special john pulled up. He was high as a kite, though his body would be better described as hot-air-balloonish. He asked if there were any redheads around. I told him my hair was red where it mattered. Not a complete lie, the constant genital bleeding mixed with my grey-butterscotch pubes makes for a sexy scarlet fire crotch that can easily fool anyone beyond a slight buzz.

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