Category Archives: Scabby

Scabby Rocks (How I meet Your Fathers) Feb 2019

Face To Face

It’s a special Valentine’s edition of Scabby Rocks for all you lovers out there. Now I know what you are asking; what does a streetwalking junkie like me know about Love? Well, believe it or not I have found love more than a few times. I’m reminded of a fling in the late 80’s with one of my many soul mates Trever Keith. He was the first trick I ever made sex to face to face. Before I met Trev, Scabby was strictly doggie style. Trev taught me that eye contact could be as hot as penis contact. He went on to front some amazing punk band, I forget the name, but guess what… they will be coming through town on Feb. 15th to play House of Rock, one of my favorite venues, and not just because they let me use their sink to give myself an occasional whore’s bath. 

Scabby Rocks! (Jan 2019)

I know you kids out there are used to Old Scabby parsing all your sexual quandaries but seeing as my old penis pocket is out of commission, I haven’t been feeling very sensual. I’m finding out the hard way that when you suppress your periods for years with homemade drug cocktails they all come out at once. Seems that I may be doomed to bleed for the rest of my days. Of course, my editor isn’t going to let me sit around and do nothing so here I am again with this month’s music column.

Let’s start with our old friends Reel Big Fish. Now I know that you are all waiting for me to make some kind of joke about my, you know what and the smell of fish, but I’m not going to do it. Besides, the few times I ever smelled like fish, it was because I fell off a booze cruise and washed up on the dirty-ass Corpus Christi bay front during red tide. Speaking of red tide, I’m going through a pad a minute over here.

Scabby Rocks! (Dec 2018)

When the Editor told me that he wanted me to write about rock this month, I had a whole ‘nother rock in mind. Scabby don’t know to much about modern music. They say people usually just love the music from when they were teenagers. I can still remember the tubas blurping and the brushing on that old jazzy snare drum from my days as a young hooker on the east coast in the roaring 20’s. Then the depression hit and everything turned emo.  

Anyway lets start with Dallas, TX pop-punk band, Offended By Everything. They just signed with Standby Records and will release a new EP ‘Evergreen’ on January 4th, 2019.

Dear Scabby (Nov. 2018)

Dear Scabby,
How are you handling the Beto loss?
Danny the Democrat

Hmm… Danny the D, it is mighty presumptuous to assume that I was ever a Beto supporter in the first place. Do you know nothing about me, you darling little progressive cuck? Just who do you think the lizard people call when they need someone who can service a whole lounge. They need a girl who can keep her mouth closed during off hours and open every other time. They need someone like me who has seen and swallowed it all, someone in front of whom they can take off the flesh suits and just be their lizardly selves. Remember, I am in the service industry, honey, and that means I have to do my part to keep the sexually repressed hooker hiring party in office and in front of those cameras so they are forced to sneak around when they need those slimy little lizard logs worked on.

Dear Scabby

Dear Scabs,
I know that Blake Farenthold was one of your regulars, have you had any dealings with our new interim Congressman?
Bech Bruun

Aw Bech honey, jealous much?
There aren’t many local men with whom I haven’t had relations, and by local I mean the greater southwest United States plus some parts of Indonesia. Once upon a time, old Scabby walked the streets of a little sprout of a town called Victoria, Texas, named after Vicky Vajajay the town’s only working girl, until I came around.

Dear Scabby,

What’s your take on the election in Turkey and the obvious corruption by President Erdogan?
Thanks,
Yours Tuesday 3pm

Hey Tuesday 3,
Pass.

+++

Dear Scabby,

PRINT IS DEAD! Get The Vent Magazine (FREE)

Get The Vent Magazine digital version for FREE.

Visit Us On TwitterVisit Us On FacebookVisit Us On Youtube