Category Archives: Entertainment

Onomatopoeia my pants: An interview with Comedian Pablo Francisco

I have to start by saying what I knew would be true of this interview before I even made the phone call to Pablo Francisco – It does not do him justice. At first, I thought it would be funny for me to have to spell out and you to have to read all the booshes, woomps, re-roalps, and blehghs, but soon I realized that I suck at onomatopoeia.

Pablo is a master of sound effects and impersonation as you can see by all the characters that pop into our conversation which, I should note, took place around 7am. Of course, the best way to enjoy the many sides of this internationally known comedian is to see him on stage for yourself. All voices are done by Pablo since I also suck at impressions.

Pablo: Hello, this is Pablo Francisco.

Vent: Hey Pablo, this is Wil with the Vent in Corpus Christi. How’re you doing?

P: I’m doing good man. I’m just chilling here on the Internet waiting for your call. And thanks for calling, what’s up man?

V: Yeah, hey. I’m doing pretty good. We just wanted to do a quick little interview to promote the show coming up. I jotted down just some basic stuff and then maybe a little bit of weird stuff too we can get into.

P: Absolutely man, I’m down, man.

Selling Out with Scabby and Reel Big Fish

Dear Scabby,

We are short staffed this month since Blake Farenthold passed mono to everyone in the office. I know he is one of your regulars, but thanks to your no-kissing policy you’re the only writer we have left to write up the Reel Big Fish show. I need 400 words by Midnight. –Wil Vent

P.S. 400 is the same as two cartons of cigs, it’s also how many dollars you would have if you gave 160 BJ’s

Dear Abusive Bastard of a Boss,

I’ll write your little article about this fruity little band, but remember you still owe me a ten spot for that ring job last Saturday.

-Scabby

Poor Parenting at Moontower: Sing for your Supper, Son or All The Comedy Free Badges Can Buy

by Wil Henneberger

I think by now, anyone who reads this magazine knows that I don’t have any money. I’ve actually never had money. Early on I realized that if I really wanted to attend an event, then I needed to have a way to get in without paying. Before I became a comedy-nerd, I was a music-geek and for over a decade my brother and I along with our friends would attend Warped Tour or SXSW or just random concerts to interview bands. It started with crashing backstage gates and talking our way in and over the years evolved to emails with publicists and guest list spots.

Not much has changed. Sure I have a son that will start school at UT this fall, but that just means that when I hit up a comedy fest for a couple of badges, one of those is going to go to him. Son, it’s time you learned how to sing for your supper. It’s not like this print magazine is the kind of family business I can pass down to you, but writing is a talent that you can one day incorporate into your holoblog (hologram blog?) so that you can matrix-plug into, and cerebrally upload whatever virtual entertainment you prefer, without having to expend any of the limited bio-credits from the chip in your wrist. We wish we could have loaded you up with more bio-credits but sadly we lost most of what we had, fighting on the losing side of the Great Trump War or ’18.

So How Did You Get The Name Bobcat Goldthwait ?

For most of my generation, it is hard not to associate Bobcat Goldthwait with the maniacal character he played in 3 of the 7 [possibly 8 (possibly infinite)] Police Academy Movies. However, if you are a savvy MFing indie film/comedy buff like myself, then you are aware that before his acting career Bobcat was a Stand-Up Comedian, and in the years since, he has made his mark behind the camera. He has directed everything from Chappelle’s Show to Jimmy Kimmel Live!, not to mention a handful of his own feature films. I spent last Thursday morning on the phone with one of my favorite filmmakers and before you ask, NO, he doesn’t do the voice anymore… unless you pay enough.

Vent: I’m a little nervous. I’m a big fan.

Bobcat: Well, I hope I don’t crush that out of you.

V: Fair enough… I grew up on the Police Academy movies, but mostly my brother knew you from Hot To Trot. We recorded it off HBO on VHS and just watched it over and over.

B: I won’t tell the Feds.

V: Yes, please don’t. I already have some issues with the Feds.

Going Blue with Josh Blue

By Will Vent

V: I’d like to stick with a Josh/Blue theme for this interview, so with that, would you please put these Joshs in the correct order that my ex-wife slept with them? Josh Brolin , Josh Hartnett, Josh Groban, and Josh Gad.

J: That’s easy, she had a threesome with all of them, man.

V: How did you know? Have you met her?

J: Well, I was filming.

V: Can you give me a non-scientific reason to explain to my 9-year-old daughter, why the sky is Blue.

J: That’s easy man, so, you know when spill paint?

V: Ok…

J: That has nothing to do with this. The sky is blue because crack-heads live in Detroit.

V: Seeing that your name is Josh Blue, have you ever thought about sticking to strictly blue comedy, like really raunchy stuff and if so can we get a sample of one of your most offensive lines?

Solicited Advice from Ron White

Corpus Cristino’s we all know the man, the myth, the tater-salad, so let’s get right into it.

V: Right off the bat, I could use a little bit of advice, I’m 35, two kids, and I’ve been married since I was 17 years old. And now I am getting a divorce. Do you have any tips for me to make that go smoothly?

R: Do you play golf?

V: I do not.

R: It’s the hardest thing in the world dude. It almost killed me. I’ve been divorced a few times and I’m not very good at it.

V: So you’re saying I should take up golf.

R: Take up golf. I used to play with Dr. Phil when I was going through my divorce and they were beating me up over a bunch of money. I was just a wretch, and we were playing golf one day. I said, “This divorce is killing me, Doc.”
He said, “Keep your head still when you putt.”
“What?”
Doc said, “I can tell that when you make a put, it puts you in a better mood and when you don’t make a putt, it’s because you move your head. So, don’t move your head when you putt and you’ll feel better.”
“Thanks for the help doc”

You wonder if he gives unsolicited advice, he doesn’t even give solicited advice.

V: Switching over to politics. Last year you announced that you were officially running for president of the United States.

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