Category Archives: Editorial

CC Roast Practice

What better way to get into the Roast Battle spirit then to Roast a few pillars of the Corpus Christi Community. Unfortunately, most of the people in CC with local celebrity status are news personalities, which mean I’ll be punching down with these jokes. Who am I kidding, I’m too afraid to punch up anyway.

Roast Rule #1- Don’t be offended… Remember, in a real roast, anything goes.

Joe Gazin (KIII News)

A lot of people don’t realize that when we see Joe on screen that is the size he is in real life.

Wake up and Roast

While I am not a performing comedian, technically, I am one of the few people in Corpus Christi to make their living being funny, via this publication. I am also one of the biggest fans and well-versed students of comedy you will find in this city. Also, my mom says I’m just the most handsome boy ever. But enough about what makes me so amazing…

Wake Up and Scoot

by Wil Vent

A lot of people who have known me for years tend to think that I don’t like Corpus Christi. Sure I’ve spent over a decade making fun of our small-town-city and the sometimes small-minded people that inhabit the area, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like my city. After all, anything is a step up from Kingsville, TX. When I think of Corpus Christi I think of her like a gay son in a religious family. Technically, as a father I have to love him, but I’m still gonna do my best to fix any problems. Yes, I am going to stick with this somewhat offensive metaphor…

The latest issue to rear its limp little wrist in our city has been the invasion of scooters. All this time you were worried about the Caravan heading to our southern border and you forgot to tear gas the scooters that were coming from all other directions.  Now it seems that our Council may regulate the scooter companies right out of town.

Me the People – I Plead the First: American Assassination

By Anonymous

John F. Kennedy. Abraham Lincoln. William McKinley. James Garfield. You may recognize those names as former presidents of the United States. You may not know that all of them were assassinated. That’s right. All four of them were shot, bringing their presidential runs to an abrupt end. It’s telling that I’m guessing many of you had no idea that McKinley and Garfield were presidents, but that’s beside the point. What is the point is that people knew who they were and decided they needed to die for it.

Of course, Kennedy and Lincoln have gripped the public consciousness since their assassinations. Kennedy was a popular figure shot dead by either a lone gunman with ties to communism and a beef about Cuba or a CIA hit squad for reasons related to repeatedly stabbing Marilyn Monroe, depending on who you ask. Abraham Lincoln was, in the eyes of about half of the country, a man that literally tore the nation apart. John Wilkes Booth put a bullet in his head for that. An anarchist shot McKinley because he represented order. A deluded man thought Garfield owed him a favor (possibly on a Monday because of a missing lasagna) and killed him for it. And those are just the reasons behind the successful assassinations. Let’s look at four more names.

Andrew Jackson. Teddy Roosevelt. Gerald Ford. Ronald Reagan. This is just a small sampling of presidents that have had attempts made on their life. There are more, but in the interest of not just rattling off a list of people, I’ve chosen the most interesting to highlight. What makes them the most interesting, you ask? Well, aside from the fact that they too were all targets of gunmen (an American tradition, ladies and gentlemen), they are polarizing figures. And Gerald Ford is also on the list.

Otra Wake up…

Corpus Christinos… September means it is time for the first ever, cleverly named OtraFest presented by House of Rock! Otra – Spanish for ‘another’. AnotherFest! Very clever indeed. Three days of national, regional and local bands on the friendliest pair of stages in one of the easiest going bars/venues in Corpus Christi. Sure, I’ve been talking about starting my South by South South festival here for years, but the fine people at House of Rock actually did the work. And while these days I hardly even leave my house, I still greatly support any and all efforts made to bring something new and fun to our small-town-city.

Love – What is it Good For?

by Joshua Espitia
Man, fuck tennis. There. It’s out there now. Fuck. Tennis. Is that the most popular opinion? I don’t know – I know nothing about the relevance of tennis to the everyday American. I know Wimbledon takes over my TV for what feels like a month every summer (although I am constantly informed by the announcers that it is but a mere fortnight) and I have to miss out on… well, nothing. There’s nothing else on in that timeslot except for soaps, the absence of which used to upset my granny to the point of swearing at John McEnroe and throwing peach pits at the television (this is the first Wimbledon she hasn’t been around for and I know she’s grateful for that), and other inane daytime programming. How many judges have their own shows now?
I’m digressing. My point is pre-empted programming is irrelevant to why I’m railing against a sport rife with grunting and fuzzy, bouncy balls. Take away all the terrible TV you want with your vaguely erotic noises and summer sweat and sexy outfits. That’s fine. Just stop making me think about love.

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