Area Virgin Holds Out for Area Slut

Nathan Anderson, 16, of Corpus Christ is proud to declare that he is and for the time being, will remain a virgin. He isn’t however holding out for marriage, as many young people claim to do. Anderson is waiting for one very special, very promiscuous young lady named Janet Garza. Nathan first met Janet at a local RTA stop waiting for the #29 on a Saturday. As they waited for what seemed like several hours for the bus to arrive, they began to hit it off.

“She seemed like the perfect girl for me,” proclaimed Nathan, “I’m not gonna let just any wanna-be skank take my virginity, I want it to be memorable… I want it to be with someone who can do tricks.”

As they continued to converse, Nathan eventually let Janet know that he had never… ‘parked the beef bus in tuna town’. This immediately peaked Janet’s interest. Nathan explained that his longtime girlfriend Chelsea was more than willing, but that he had no plans of settling for someone who didn’t know their way around his Davy Cockett.

Without hesitation, Janet agreed that she would gladly teach Nathan to ‘play cars in the garage,’ that’s when he told her that he was only sixteen years old. Due to several serious run-ins with the law Crystal is currently on probation, and cannot risk going back to jail.

“He’s cute and all, but jail-bait is jail-bait,” Janet sadly stated, “if he wants to sweep this chimney, he’s just gonna have to wait until he turns seventeen.” With that, Nathan vowed to continue in his celibacy until October 15th of this year, when he will turn seventeen, and finally get to throw his ‘hotdog’ down Janet’s ‘hallway’.

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