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Area Sophisticate Suffers From Child’s Mother Theatrics

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The divorce proceedings of local celebrity Montgomery James Wilcox II, have up until now, been reported as cordial and amiable. However, recent facts have come to light since the final papers were signed that prove otherwise.

The divorce was officially finalized on December 20th, 2012, since then, there have been seven instances to which police where called to the millionaire’s address for domestic altercations.

In a statement read by Montgomery at a press conference this afternoon, the distraught man pleaded, “For goodness sake, Janie, is there any limit to the nonsense you plan on putting me through? I only get first, third, and fifth weekends with the children, is it to much to ask that you don’t keep me delayed for three hours when I come to collect them… and you have to stop phoning me at my place of business about the quarrels with your mother, that’s no longer any of my concern. I just hope that we can both move on in a congenial fashion, and for the last time, NO, I am not sleeping with your cousin Marcy.”

Janie Noyola-Wilcox began to publicly comment about the couple’s dealings after seeing her ex-husband having lunch with Janice Rothschild, at the club.

She spoke to the press following her ex-husband’s statement saying, “If Montgomery so wishes, he can take his sad tale to that dimwitted vixen with whom he’s been gallivanting about. Oh yes, I am quite aware of the relationship he began with the widow Rothschild. As far as she is concerned, I hope she becomes a widow twice over… and for his information; I sent word for you to collect the children form my sister’s residence. I’m not sympathetic if you didn’t retrieve it.”

Public opinion on the matter seems to be evenly split among local aristocrats. “I always thought that Montgomery was such a lovely chap,” remarked Delores Chenoweth, of the Southside Chenoweths, “however with the recent tittle-tattle surrounding their unfortunate split, I’d liken him to a common trash collector or AM radio personality.

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