Area Room Hit By Tornado

Just weeks after the tragedy in North Texas, in which hundreds of homes were destroyed and millions of dollars in damages incurred, a local family has suffered a similar fate.

After waking up late Saturday morning Anthony Gonzales, 31, father of two, was horrified to discover that his 5-year-old daughters room had been destroyed.

“I woke up to the sounds of my daughter playing amidst the rubble,” said Anthony, “she was so sweet, it was like she didn’t know what had happened. I can only assume God spared her by allowing her to sleep through the whole ordeal.”

Considering the degree of damage that would be considered nothing short of a miracle. Reports have indicated that there are cereal crumbs all over the floor and more than half a dozen unfinished cups of juice and milk under the bed. In some of the more gruesome areas animals have been impaled by pencils. What must have once been a horse has been reduced to only a head on a stick… and shoes…there are shoes everywhere.

When Lillian Gonzales was questioned about the destruction in her room, she simply said, “It wasn’t me”. Leaving no other explanation for the mess besides an act of God.

Several experts, including local Meteorologist Dale Nelson, have examined the scene and declared this incident to be truly remarkable. The consensus among these men of science, is that this is simply too big of a mess to be caused by one little girl, no matter how uncivilized, depraved or wicked she might be.

Luckily, in what can only be attributed to randomness, all of the other rooms in the house were left untouched.

“You just never can tell where these twisters will go,” explained Nelson, “one room can be turned into any parents nightmare, and within seconds the funnel cloud can up and disappear.”

When probed further about her room, Lillian returned our questioning with a dirty look declaring, “I’m not spose to tawk to stwangers, NOW GET OUT!”

Governor Rick Perry has surveyed the damages and declared a state of emergency, and in a touching gesture offered Lillian his personal Barney Doll.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *