Local firefighter Ken Affleck’s Saturday night came to an abrupt halt after he received a surprising answer to the usual question he rhetorically asks to all his sexual conquests. Within an hour of last call, Affleck was giving his best hump to local student and entrepreneur Kim Serna. When he posed the query ‘Who’s your daddy?
In a matter of seconds, intercourse had ceased and Ken was forced to hear Kim’s anecdote regarding the recent discovery of her biological father, none other than local actor Pepe Serna, known best for his role as the chainsaw victim in the 1983 motion picture Scarface.
“I just found out that I am the illegitimate daughter of somebody famous,” she proclaimed, “I’m gonna tell everybody on the planet. I was so glad that Ken was so interested in hearing about who my daddy was. Most guys just wanna do the sex part and don’t really care about who I really am or where I came from, but it’s obvious that Ken was different.”
While Ken, like most Corpus Christi residents, has seen Scarface over 3500 times and owns both, Scarface beach towels as well as blankets, which he adorns in their proper seasons, was on this night, mostly concerned with making sure Kim would properly ‘Chi- Chi his yeyo’.
“Her whole explanation was irrelevant anyhow,” explained Ken, “on the basis that this broad was just plain incorrect, because tonight, I was her daddy… and there was only room for one Peepee in this scene.”
Luckily for the couple, the night had a happier ending than the Brian De Palma tragedy. She offered to introduce Ken to her famous father, while he repeatedly introduced her to his little friend.