Monthly Archives: June 2018

We’re Here, You’re Queer, or You’re Quarantined

by Korbin Boomer Matthews

Corpus Christi, TX – Are you a heterosexual in Corpus Christi who is unsure who/what to do now that the Rainbow Revolution has taken over the Coastal Bend?

…you’re not alone! Don’t sweat it, straight! We’ve got the answers to all of your burning queer questions so you know what to expect now that Corpus Christi has officially become an LGBTQIA+ ONLY municipality.

“I was concerned at first” Rex Gabriel, popular host of C101’s Two Guys In The Morning remarked while waiting in line at the courthouse to file the last of his Rainbow Revolution paperwork. “Despite my buff physique and affinity for leather, I’ve been straight my entire life and I wasn’t 100% on-board when they first staged their takeover, but the gays have made this process really easy to navigate. I’m excited to start this next chapter as a bisexual gender-queer-self.”

LGBTQIA+CCTX

by Korbin Boomer Matthews

Pride is creepin’ back into the Coastal Bend, y’all! Get ready for another year of festivities and fuckery, which although not officially a part of this year’s itinerary are obviously implied and encouraged. But before we belt out Born This Way and burn effigies of Mike Pence, I’d like to ask that you entertain a hypothetical with me that might illuminate not only the reason why millions of people across the globe observe this time of LGBT+ solidarity but most importantly why it’s of the utmost importance that Corpus Christi is a part of that observation. Once you’re done reading this bit you can get back to either despising us vocal queens with a fiery passion or using Pride as an excuse to live out all of your bi-curious fantasies…or both!

The Brilliance of Buddy Cole (Not Hyperbole)

by Wil Henneberger

I can never stress enough just how important the Kids in the Hall was to me (were to me?). These five guys, Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald, Bruce McCulloch, Mark McKinney, and Scott Thompson, who regularly dressed like ladies were the cornerstone (cornerstones?) of my creative foundation (foundations?).

A while back, thanks to the Moontower Comedy Festival in Austin, TX, I was able to see all five of those comedy heroes live on a stage at the Paramount Theater about 30 feet away from my stupefied face. It was the best experience of my life that didn’t involve the expulsion of a placenta. When I wrote about that special time in 2013 I described the feeling of the house lights dropping and that surf-rock theme song lifting as being in comedy church.

Dear Scabby,

Dear Scabby,
Will you be attending the Pride Parade?
KBM

Hey Kaboom,
First, let me say that I love all parades for several reasons. Mainly because, as a streetwalker, I appreciate anytime that vehicles are moving at nonlethal speeds. They also bring lots of people out, usually to the parts of town that are normally empty, for good reason. Half of those people have penises, and even if .01% of them are sex addicts carrying cash then I’ll be as happy as an Elks Lodgemen lodged into my pink mini go-cart.

Wake Up and Up and Up

by Wil Henneberger

There is so much going on in the Vent this month that I have to write several miniature Wake Ups. Could a more clever writer find some way to bring together all this information in one article, perhaps discovering a common thread between things that seem dissimilar but might actually be connected in some way that demonstrates an even greater lesson: that not only are these random subjects linked, but that all of us are too connected on some spectacular level that can only be realized while engaged in the most trippiest of mushroom-induced mental journeys? Look, I’m just a simple guy, I don’t think on that level. Go on a Sense8 bender if you need all that complicated stimulation.

Wake Up and Get Your Comic-Con On

Speaking of cult TV shows, it’s time for the second annual Corpus Christi Comic-Con. Be sure to get your passes and show support for this growing event. Meet celebs like Lou Ferrigno, the original Hulk and Helen Slater of The Legend of Billie Jean- Corpus Christi’s most over exhausted claim to fame. And you know you would be proud to take your picture with Napoleon Dynamite himself.

Wake up and Don’t Speak Too Soon

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