Monthly Archives: July 2017

The Vent’s Guide Dealing with a Hurricane that will Not Even Hit Your City

With hurricane season upon us, city officials are busy outlining possible evacuation routes, printing up informational (and colorful) maps, and having press conferences to ensure the city that, when the time comes, they will be informed enough to tell us to get the hell out of town. However, this offers little guidance for the common person, who might wish to prepare herself for these coming storms.

Area Man Gets Answer to –Who’s Your Daddy

Local firefighter Ken Affleck’s Saturday night came to an abrupt halt after he received a surprising answer to the usual question he rhetorically asks to all his sexual conquests. Within an hour of last call, Affleck was giving his best hump to local student and entrepreneur Kim Serna. When he posed the query ‘Who’s your daddy?

In a matter of seconds, intercourse had ceased and Ken was forced to hear Kim’s anecdote regarding the recent discovery of her biological father, none other than local actor Pepe Serna, known best for his role as the chainsaw victim in the 1983 motion picture Scarface.

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