Monthly Archives: December 2016

VP-Elect Pence Disgusted Over His Love of Girl on Girl

Vice President-Elect Mike Pence called a press conference on Sunday and told reporters that he has been living in sin. As most journalists began to clear the room, disinterested. Pence dropped the bombshell that he has been “interfering” with himself while watching lesbian porn.

Pundits have been up in arms over this revelation given that, for decades, Pence has made so many stands against the LGBTQ community. In Congress, he sponsored a law that if passed would have forced children to include genitalia on all stick-figure drawings in order to confirm that the couples were not same-sex. As Governor of Indiana, Pence initiated a statewide ban on the use of Indiana as a boy’s name because it sounds gay. Now it seems that the President-Elect, at least in this case, has 69’d on his position that all homosexuality is an abomination.

Wake up and Respect the Office?

I am not a Donald Trump apologist, but I have always been an advocate of respecting the Office of The Presidency. Maybe that’s because I was a Boy Scout- and a virgin- till I was 15-years-old or because one of the seven things my dad taught me before he split was proper citizenship (the other six were all sports related). My theory is that if examined I’d probably register some place on the Autistic Spectrum that allows me to be somewhat functional on a date but also causes me to overly emphasize pie in the sky concepts like Honor and Patriotism or Disestablishmentarianism.

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