Monthly Archives: August 2016

Going Blue with Josh Blue

By Will Vent

V: I’d like to stick with a Josh/Blue theme for this interview, so with that, would you please put these Joshs in the correct order that my ex-wife slept with them? Josh Brolin , Josh Hartnett, Josh Groban, and Josh Gad.

J: That’s easy, she had a threesome with all of them, man.

V: How did you know? Have you met her?

J: Well, I was filming.

V: Can you give me a non-scientific reason to explain to my 9-year-old daughter, why the sky is Blue.

J: That’s easy man, so, you know when spill paint?

V: Ok…

J: That has nothing to do with this. The sky is blue because crack-heads live in Detroit.

V: Seeing that your name is Josh Blue, have you ever thought about sticking to strictly blue comedy, like really raunchy stuff and if so can we get a sample of one of your most offensive lines?

Solicited Advice from Ron White

Corpus Cristino’s we all know the man, the myth, the tater-salad, so let’s get right into it.

V: Right off the bat, I could use a little bit of advice, I’m 35, two kids, and I’ve been married since I was 17 years old. And now I am getting a divorce. Do you have any tips for me to make that go smoothly?

R: Do you play golf?

V: I do not.

R: It’s the hardest thing in the world dude. It almost killed me. I’ve been divorced a few times and I’m not very good at it.

V: So you’re saying I should take up golf.

R: Take up golf. I used to play with Dr. Phil when I was going through my divorce and they were beating me up over a bunch of money. I was just a wretch, and we were playing golf one day. I said, “This divorce is killing me, Doc.”
He said, “Keep your head still when you putt.”
“What?”
Doc said, “I can tell that when you make a put, it puts you in a better mood and when you don’t make a putt, it’s because you move your head. So, don’t move your head when you putt and you’ll feel better.”
“Thanks for the help doc”

You wonder if he gives unsolicited advice, he doesn’t even give solicited advice.

V: Switching over to politics. Last year you announced that you were officially running for president of the United States.

Starting A Cult with Comedian Steve Trevino

Being a comedian, it goes without saying that Steve Trevino is extremely charismatic and can command the attention of huge groups of people. That makes him the perfect person to ask for some advice about a cult I would like to start.

First off… Who should my cult worship? And why?

Richard Pryor, because he was the truth. He wasn’t afraid to be honest and open. I think all people should live that way.

Should I let other dudes in or just Ladies?

Everyone is welcome to enjoy the truth and honesty in the cult of Richard Pryor. I feel sometimes, or at least lately, Comics haven’t been as honest. All they do is tell jokes out of a joke book that they wrote on some silly Notepad, instead of just being honest and talking about life. Richard Pryor didn’t need a notepad. Which is why I try to be as honest as possible on stage.

You are from this area, where’s a good place to set up our cult’s compound?

On the Corpus Christi Bay! Because if I had my life to do all over it wouldn’t matter anyway because I’d spend it drinking on the Corpus Christi Bay.

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