Monthly Archives: May 2016

Scabby on The White House

I get it, all these people want to live in that fancy white house. Who wouldn’t? I’d be happy just to live in a white neighborhood. Some of us are going to have to accept that it just isn’t gonna happen. Some people just don’t belong in those houses and neighborhoods, and by some people, I mean Jews. Of course I am just kidding, there’s always room for a few of God’s chosen people in WASP country, and by wasp country, I mean what I called my vagina that time I found a beehive attached to my labia minora.

In all seriousness, I spent a little bit of time under the desks of some of the top advisers on the Docockus ’88 campaign. And way before that, in 1964, I was part of a group of grassroots goldwater supporters. We hated Barry Goldwater, but we were in favor of going out in the yard and peeing on each other, which at the time made more sense than anything old Boring Pisswater was spraying. I’ve been told that I have a one of a kind perspective and a never before seen STD cocktail in my pink beaker.

First off, you are alienating the Herpeed-American vote with your very insensitive slogan. That’s almost 25% of the population that is going to lean to Trump or Hillary simply because they don’t remind them of those nasty flare-ups in their dirty little ballot boxes.

Moontower 2016 – These Ain’t Your Parent’s Headliners (Well, one of them was…)

By Wil Henneberger

For reasons regular readers of this monthly will easily ascertain, I could not attend Austin’s Moontower Comedy and Oddity Festival in 2015. The Moontower before that was my first comedy festival experience and if you were following my journey then, you remember how inspired I was after seeing several of my heroes live, especially The Kids In The Hall. 2016 was no less stimulating! Due to my 9-year-old’s kickball game on Wednesday evening I missed the first night of the fest, but I made up for it by hopping in the first bus out of town Thursday morning. By 5pm I had checked into my hostel and had my Press credentials in hand. Just in time to stand in line for the first show I planned to see. Would you like to kick off the weekend with a comedy legend? Um, sure, why not…

Thursday 4/21 – Paramount Theatre 7:00pm– Martin Short

All the big acts at Moontower play the Paramount Theatre, which as you see maintains the classic spelling of the word theater. That’s because it’s a f***ing classy joint. Shoes and shirt required and the whole bit. No popcorn sold in this Theatrah.

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