Monthly Archives: December 2015

Planned Pothole Project Makes City Look Like An Assphalt

By: Nathan Ray Clark

Over the last decade, Corpus Christi residents have voiced their concerns over deteriorating street conditions. What once was a pesky pothole problem has now become a Texas-sized pain in the ass for everyone. In typical late fashion, the city leaders are finally ready to put this pothole pandemonium to rest.

City officials have come up with a surprising, yet innovative solution. Director of Street Operations, Andy Leal says, “Instead of fixing the potholes we’re planning on making more potholes. Sometimes you have to think outside the box. We realized it’s kind of pointless to fix all the potholes. I mean, there’s always going to be potholes.” Leal admits that his lack of responsibility is not the problem, but instead the blame falls squarely on budget cuts. Leal says, “Bottom line: We don’t have the funds to fix our roads, but we do have enough money to tear up every street from Calallen to the Island. So, we decided we’re gonna do that.”

As expected, locals are frustrated over the city’s solution and insist on a new plan. Hector Solis, a US Army Veteran and Boat ‘N Net aficionado, is one of many citizens who are livid over the city’s decision. Mr Solis says, “I’ve lived here my whole life, and I’ve learned two things. One, the Number Five, shrimp and fish combo with extra tartar sauce will be my last meal on earth. And two, the people who run this penche city are menso.” Solis believes the city hasn’t fully considered the ramifications of this plan and he promises that, “If those putos even think of tearing up my street with more potholes, I’m gonna tear them new culos. If not me, then my old lady will. Linda don’t give a damn!”

What-a-Burger Introduces What-a-Leftover Menu

After the recent customer upheaval over McDonald’s cancelation of the Dollar Menu, restaurants all over the country are hoping to fill that gap and win over patrons who are looking for the best deal they can find. So far the lesser-known, Texas-based franchise What-A-Burger has peaked the most consumer curiosity with their announcement of the What-a-Leftover Menu.
“Contemporary tradition dictates that the days following Thanksgiving are a time for amazing deals,” Whataburger CEO Preston Atkinson announced at a press conference earlier this week, “but classically, the period after that holiday feast has always been known as leftover season. What-a-Burger has taken the best of both eras and created the ‘What-a-Leftover Menu’.” The burger chain founder went on to explain the details of the ‘new-to-you’ service.
Dine-in customers with uneaten portions of their meal can leave their trays on the table to be collected by a specially trained LeftOverSeer. Patrons who complete their meal are still expected to bus their own trays on the way out. The LeftOverSeer collects all the food left unattended for more than 20 seconds. Diners are encouraged to be quick when leaving the table for refills or condiments. Any leftovers are placed under the “LeftOver Here” heat lamp area near the trashcans. From there, the Mini-Meals can be resold at a discounted rate which is determined by the’ OverSeer’.’
For the past six months the What-a-Leftover Menu has been running as a pilot program at the 214 What-a-Burger locations in Corpus Christi, TX. Data collected from

PRINT IS DEAD! Get The Vent Magazine (FREE)

Get The Vent Magazine digital version for FREE.

Visit Us On TwitterVisit Us On FacebookVisit Us On Youtube