Monthly Archives: September 2014

Joan Rivers Dead To Me 1933-2014

What can I say about Joan Rivers that Louis CK, didn’t cover on the brilliant episode of his show on which she guest starred. Well, I can say that there are very few women in this world that I have never looked at sexually… most of the ones I’m related to and Joan Rivers. I’m sorry Joan, but for whatever reason I have never viewed you as a sexual creature. A creature yes, but not a sexual one. Don’t get me wrong; I am sure my dad was all over your pics, like I am on Sarah Silverman’s, but I am just too young for whatever was left of your original body.
The good thing about the preceding horribly insulting paragraph is that I was always able to appreciate your personality and comedy without any distractions, and we know that is what you female comedians all wanna hear, right? Joan Rivers you are dead to me, but you’ve always been dead to my penis.

Wake Up & F*** the Police

When I first moved to Corpus all the way from Kingsville, I had an appreciation for the Corpus Christi Police Department. You see, in piece of crap towns like Kingsville the cops pull you over on a regular basis for nonsense like ‘wide right turns’ or ‘unsafely transporting a sofa on the roof of your Buick Skylark’.
I suppose it all has something to do with generating revenue in a town that has none. Well, don’t worry Corpus Christinos, because we are on our way in that direction. The Red Light Cameras were a good indicator that the city was looking for ways to bring in a few extra bucks. Recently I received a ticket for blocking the sidewalk in my own driveway, and we all know that 5-0 has been cracking down on those

Apple Reveals the iPhone Sex

The next Apple iPhone reveal was scheduled for later this month, however recent controversy around the products release has caused the technological juggernaut to chance course.
After Apple CEO Tim Cook finally admitted that the leaking of celebrity nudes this past August was all a carefully planned publicity stunt to build up anticipation for the groundbreaking companies newest device, he was forced to forego the original announcement date and reveal to the world the iphone Sex.
“For many consumers the release of a new product can be an exhilarating, orgasmic experience,” Cook exclaimed calmly,

PRINT IS DEAD! Get The Vent Magazine (FREE)

Get The Vent Magazine digital version for FREE.

Visit Us On TwitterVisit Us On FacebookVisit Us On Youtube