Monthly Archives: November 2013

Dear Corpus Christi,

Hey Corpus,

You think you have it bad, well I just lost a vote in Houston that will probably mean my ultimate demise. That’s right. The greater Houston area couldn’t give me a chance to come back as a nice new convention center, so now I will most likely be demolished, but hey, at least I will get to see my BFF, the Memorial Coliseum. I might even run into that casino I banged once in the 70’s.

Wish you were inside me one last time,
Astrodome

Dear Vent,

Hey buddy,
It’s your old pal Teddy Cruzpin… how have you been my brother from across the border… I was wondering if you have seen old Flakey Blakey around. He owes me some money and I need it. Like now. Or maybe you can help me out man. I’m in some trouble with some very bad people… no not the cartel… worse. Not the Mormons, even worse. These guys will crash the entire economy if you get on their bad side. I am in deep and I’m starting to have second thoughts. The truth is, I don’t even like tea.

Ced Truz

Dear Vent Magazine,

Dear Vent Magazine,

What’s up with all the masturbation stories this issue… I count at least 3. I’m counting that bitter rant on page 3 that you stained us all with. Well, I guess you have to ‘write what you know’. Thanks for sparing us the details and sticking to innuendo.

Sarcastically Concerned Reader

Dear Vent,

Dude,
I am super pissed this morning. Those dudes told me to vote against Destination Bayfront and they would fix me up with some pot & hoes. Well, I woke up and no pot or hoes, and worst of all, my street is still covered in potholes. What have I done…

Dear Vent,

Dear Vent,

I couldn’t help but notice that you had absolutely NO coverage regarding the 50th anniversary of the JFK assassination. It seems awfully suspicious to not bring it up whatsoever, as if you were hoping we’d all just forget about it. Not to mention that if you take the 37th letter from each article in last months issue and rearrange them and add a couple of letters, it spells PARKLAND. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT?! PARKLAND! The hospital where they took Kennedy as well as Oswald! Not to mention the name of the new JFK movie with Zac Efron. Im just saying check out that movie. It’s good.

Take care,
Z.E.

Wake up and First Things First

Corpus Christi, TX
by Will Vent
First things first, I love Election Day… mostly because it usually gives me a legitimate reason for putting the magazine out late. I write this at 11:30pm on the night of the Destination Bayfront vote. Eight hours before I am supposed to have pages turned in. The Vent November issue is about 49% done, 51% by the time this column is in the bag.

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