LGBT Group Protests Red-Light Cameras

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By Wil Henneberger

Along with many other Corpus Christi citizens, an area gay rights organization has also taken up the fight against red-light cameras. Currently, there are operational devices at 12 different intersections throughout the city and nearly all licensed drivers believe they are unnecessary. However, the activists at P.R.O.U.D., which stands for P*** R**** on U* Dads, have a different take on the issue.
“We think it’s discriminatory to have just red-light cameras,” bellowed local protester, Korbin Matthews! “Why not orange-light cameras, or Yellow-light, or green, blue, indigo and violet-light cameras? I think all the colors should be represented at every major intersection in this great gay city.”
The idea has been met with mixed reactions. Some believe this is the perfect time to make a pro-LGBT statement with some fabulous new traffic lights while others say that seven different lights would confuse the already incompetent Corpus Christi driving population. Then there are those who stand against the idea for religious reasons.
Pastor Dick Milby and Councilwoman Vaughn, who fought recently to prevent the Harbor Bridge from being illuminated in rainbow colors,

So How Did You Get The Name Bobcat Goldthwait ?

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For most of my generation, it is hard not to associate Bobcat Goldthwait with the maniacal character he played in 3 of the 7 [possibly 8 (possibly infinite)] Police Academy Movies. However, if you are a savvy MFing indie film/comedy buff like myself, then you are aware that before his acting career Bobcat was a Stand-Up Comedian, and in the years since, he has made his mark behind the camera. He has directed everything from Chappelle’s Show to Jimmy Kimmel Live!, not to mention a handful of his own feature films. I spent last Thursday morning on the phone with one of my favorite filmmakers and before you ask, NO, he doesn’t do the voice anymore… unless you pay enough.

Vent: I’m a little nervous. I’m a big fan.

Bobcat: Well, I hope I don’t crush that out of you.

V: Fair enough… I grew up on the Police Academy movies, but mostly my brother knew you from Hot To Trot. We recorded it off HBO on VHS and just watched it over and over.

B: I won’t tell the Feds.

V: Yes, please don’t. I already have some issues with the Feds.

Going Blue with Josh Blue

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By Will Vent

V: I’d like to stick with a Josh/Blue theme for this interview, so with that, would you please put these Joshs in the correct order that my ex-wife slept with them? Josh Brolin , Josh Hartnett, Josh Groban, and Josh Gad.

J: That’s easy, she had a threesome with all of them, man.

V: How did you know? Have you met her?

J: Well, I was filming.

V: Can you give me a non-scientific reason to explain to my 9-year-old daughter, why the sky is Blue.

J: That’s easy man, so, you know when spill paint?

V: Ok…

J: That has nothing to do with this. The sky is blue because crack-heads live in Detroit.

V: Seeing that your name is Josh Blue, have you ever thought about sticking to strictly blue comedy, like really raunchy stuff and if so can we get a sample of one of your most offensive lines?

Solicited Advice from Ron White

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Corpus Cristino’s we all know the man, the myth, the tater-salad, so let’s get right into it.

V: Right off the bat, I could use a little bit of advice, I’m 35, two kids, and I’ve been married since I was 17 years old. And now I am getting a divorce. Do you have any tips for me to make that go smoothly?

R: Do you play golf?

V: I do not.

R: It’s the hardest thing in the world dude. It almost killed me. I’ve been divorced a few times and I’m not very good at it.

V: So you’re saying I should take up golf.

R: Take up golf. I used to play with Dr. Phil when I was going through my divorce and they were beating me up over a bunch of money. I was just a wretch, and we were playing golf one day. I said, “This divorce is killing me, Doc.”
He said, “Keep your head still when you putt.”
“What?”
Doc said, “I can tell that when you make a put, it puts you in a better mood and when you don’t make a putt, it’s because you move your head. So, don’t move your head when you putt and you’ll feel better.”
“Thanks for the help doc”

You wonder if he gives unsolicited advice, he doesn’t even give solicited advice.

V: Switching over to politics. Last year you announced that you were officially running for president of the United States.

Starting A Cult with Comedian Steve Trevino

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Being a comedian, it goes without saying that Steve Trevino is extremely charismatic and can command the attention of huge groups of people. That makes him the perfect person to ask for some advice about a cult I would like to start.

First off… Who should my cult worship? And why?

Richard Pryor, because he was the truth. He wasn’t afraid to be honest and open. I think all people should live that way.

Should I let other dudes in or just Ladies?

Everyone is welcome to enjoy the truth and honesty in the cult of Richard Pryor. I feel sometimes, or at least lately, Comics haven’t been as honest. All they do is tell jokes out of a joke book that they wrote on some silly Notepad, instead of just being honest and talking about life. Richard Pryor didn’t need a notepad. Which is why I try to be as honest as possible on stage.

You are from this area, where’s a good place to set up our cult’s compound?

On the Corpus Christi Bay! Because if I had my life to do all over it wouldn’t matter anyway because I’d spend it drinking on the Corpus Christi Bay.

Slightly Random with Slightly Stoopid

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By Wil Henneberger

Since the virgin age of 14 (circa 1994), I’ve had a love for all things Ska, Reggae, Dancehall or any other upbeat, guitar-muting or horn-laced genre I could aurally absorb. For as long as I have been listening to reggae, Slightly Stoopid has been playing it. Which, according to the 10,000-hour rule, makes them experts. Still, the laid-back, humble tone of the band’s personalities reflects anything but elitism and superiority, as demonstrated by the fact that one of them took the time to answer some of the most ridiculous questions I could come up with.

The Vent Daily: You guys are from San Diego, CA- Did you ever go to Tijuana when you were young and see the black and white stripe painted donkey and really think it was a Zebra? …cause I did.
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Ryan Moran: I know exactly what you’re talking about. I used to go to TJ a lot when I was like 18. Once you turn 21 it kind of loses its significance. Yeah, I went down there, I pretty much knew it was a donkey. It looks more like a donkey, not a Zebra.

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